Sunday, May 20, 2012

How Not To Talk To Your Kids

I am still so learning as a mom. One thing I am learning is how to talk to my kids and how not to talk to my kids. When my children read this, they will probably think, "Mom, you have a ways to go." But I am learning and trying to put into practice what I'm learning. I haven't reached perfection, that's for sure.

It was only last night that I was getting on Evan's case about the future. Instead of saying and doing what I meant to say and do, I tended to blurt out discouraging statements. I felt so bad afterwards. My whole body felt heavy. After times like that, I wake up in the middle of the night and stare at the ceiling in discouragement. I know what I want to say and I know what they need to hear, so why is it so hard to follow through?

You know how you feel about your kids. They are the dearest thing to our hearts. I would lay down my life in an instant for any of them and yet, I hear the stupidest things come out of my mouth sometimes.

No matter what may or may not have been spoken over us as children, we do have a say in what comes out of our mouths over our children today.

I need to speak over my children what God says and thinks about them. I am a worrier from way back. Worry and fretting comes so naturally to me. I tend to be almost fatalistic in my outlook on life at times. Trying to speaking positively all the time does run a bit against the grain for me.

I want my kids dreams to come true. I know that there is the day to day of making money, saving money, and preparing for the future. But I think God is very interested in making our personal dreams come true. It's sad to believe that dreams are something we have to give up in adulthood.

It is hard, too, when I see Elisa in her wheelchair day in and day out. In the natural, there is no way her circumstances will ever change. I can't tell you how I've battled discouragement in this area. I've made statements to her over the years, such as, "Elisa, someday we will look at this wheelchair together. But this time you won't be sitting in it;  you will be standing beside it." Then I've walked back upstairs and burst into tears. I want to put faith in her (and in me), but there is always the wrestling with what I see. What we see is so powerful. But faith truly is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things NOT SEEN. That is what makes it faith. I also don't want to give her false hope, but in my heart, I don't believe it is false.

This blog posting is for me more than anything else. But if you struggle in this area too, then begin along with me to proclaim and state great things over their lives out loud. Let them get used to hearing these words come out of your mouth. I sometimes even go into their rooms when they are not there and state things into the atmosphere such as, "God, you have given them a hope and a future and nothing can stand in Your way." People's mouths are used so much for cursing and discouragement, but my mouth needs to be a blessing over my children.

As I've mentioned before in a previous blog, I learn so much from Joyce Meyer and Joel Osteen in this area. I happened to be watching Joyce last week. She was using two men, one as Jesus and one as Satan, as an illustration. Satan was waving his arms to distract her from Jesus and she ended up turning to him and fighting with him. But her point was, we can turn from his distractions and say to Jesus, "No matter what he is saying or trying to get me to believe, I am saying to You, that I look to you, and I put my trust in You." It sounds so simple, but somehow, the way it was presented, really got into my heart. I've been reminding the Lord all week, "I am looking at You. I am listening to You. I already know what the enemy says. I want to know what You are saying."

No matter what the enemy is whispering to you and no matter what he is trying so hard to get you to believe about your kids or your situation, we can put our complete trust in Jesus and know that no one can pluck us (or our children) out of His hand (John 10:29). He is interested in your concerns over your children and He cares about their futures.

This made me laugh and made me think of how we try to encourage our kids.


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