I'd Like You to Meet...Matt Cook

I contacted Matt a couple of months ago to see if he could share his testimony on my blog. I'm so pleased to be able to introduce you to such a godly husband, dad, and friend. He is another one in our church that my husband considers to be like a son.

 I remember seeing Matt years ago when we were at Teen Challenge. (My husband Dave is now a pastor, but at that time he was a counselor at T.C.) Matt was in our front yard playing ball with one of our children. I had no way of knowing then that years later, he would be one of the elders at our church. Matt has a beautiful wife, Laura, and three adorable girls. He is one of the finest men I know. I believe his story will have a great impact on each person reading today.

Matt and his three girls

Where Jesus Found Me


Six months before being born, my father was killed in a car accident. My mother was
pregnant with her second child from her second husband. She had been a single mom
once before after her first marriage ended in divorce. Now pregnant and raising a 6
year old son she found herself in that situation again.

As little boys, I remember my older brother always looking out for me. Within a few
years of my father’s accident my mother remarried. My mom and her new husband had
a baby boy about a year later. Our new dad adopted my older brother and me and
raised us as his sons.

We were not a Christian family, but both of my parents worked very hard to provide for
us. Always supportive, they spent countless hours, days, and weeks at all of our
sporting practices and events. My parents loved us and did the best they could for us.

As hard as my parents tried to provide a good life for our family, horrible things were still
done to me by neighbors as a very young boy. The abuse brought much shame and
hurt into my life that I never talked about with anyone until I was in my twenties.

Our home grew less peaceful as the years passed. In junior high, home began to feel more
like a battle zone until my parents finally divorced sometime during my 7th or 8th grade
year. Instead of turning to family or better yet to God during this difficult time, I began to
turn to drugs and the lifestyle that music videos portrayed on MTV.

Even as a young boy I excelled in sports. I made varsity in baseball, football, and
basketball by my sophomore year. I had shoe boxes full of letters from college scouts.
I believed I would be a professional athlete one day because many coaches throughout
the years told me that I had what it took to be one. Drugs and sports proved to be a bad
combination, though. While snow skiing during my junior year, I injured my back in an
accident. Juggling the pain from my ski accident and deeper drug use, the reality of my
dreams seemed to be slipping further and further away.

During my senior year of high school I inherited $200,000 from my biological dad’s
parents. It was at this point that I decided if sports could no longer be my number one
choice in life, then drugs and living the “high life” would be my back up. Within three
years most of the money was gone, I had been arrested four times, and had basically
hit rock bottom. I found myself sitting in a county jail in Colorado facing 7-10 years in
prison.

That’s where Jesus found me. I wasn’t looking for Him.

A Hispanic man came to the jail one day and talked to a small group of us about “the
Lord”. The way he talked about “the Lord” intrigued me because he talked about God
as if he actually knew Him. God used this man to get ahold of my heart. He was talking
to us about what it meant to be born again, explaining that it is the Spirit of God coming to live inside of us. He told us that God changes us from the inside out giving us
righteous desires. At that point in my life I knew my desires. They were anything but
holy. I also knew in my heart that what this man was saying was truth.

Questions raced through my mind as he spoke to us. They were questions such as, “If
God loved me and cared about me so much then why am I a strung out drug addict
facing hard prison time?”. This man, unaware of my mental questions, replied to me
quoting Isaiah 53:6 which says, “We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has
turned to our own way: and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.” How did he
know to quote that Scripture when I hadn’t even expressed my question to him? I
intentionally asked a few more questions in my mind which he again answered with
Scripture. I recognized in that moment, God was giving me an opportunity to accept His
forgiveness - to be born again. We prayed, and life came inside of me. I felt clean. I
felt peace, and joy flooded my heart. I had a radical conversion in that little Colorado
county jail.

Shortly after, I was transported by the sheriff to the main jail. As we were driving, I
remember an excitement in my heart knowing that what God had just done in me was
going to change everything about life that I had known up to that point. But, never in my
wildest dreams could I have dreamt what my life would be like today.

Nearly twenty years ago in that jail, my life took a 180 degree turn.

My prison time ended up being shortened due to good behavior. After one year in
prison, I went to a program called Teen Challenge to be discipled. Teen Challenge was
a safe place. It was a place where men and women of God could teach me, pray with
me, correct me, and show me in very tangible ways the love of my Heavenly Father.
Through God’s love and patience, through renewing my mind in His Word, and through
repentance, the roots of my faith grew deeper and deeper.

Matt at his Teen Challenge graduation (with Dave Olson)

God saw value in me even at my lowest. Before being born again, I had been despised
by many and felt like I had hurt and disappointed my family beyond the point of repair.
The pain of knowing that was unbearable at times, but even in those relationships God
made all things new. Relationships with my family have never been better than what
they are today. I even had the privilege of leading my mom’s parents to the Lord on
their death beds ten years ago.

Throughout my nearly twenty years of living life for Jesus, I have had the opportunity to
be discipled at Teen Challenge, to be a student at the Brownsville Revival School of
Ministry, to work on staff at Teen Challenge, to do jail ministry, as well as go on several
mission trips around the world. I have had the privilege of seeing hundreds of lives
changed by the Lord. In all of this the thing that has had an impact on me the most,
though, is God’s unconditional love.

Outside of being loved by Jesus, the joy of my life today is being married to my best
friend, Laura, and raising our three daughters together. Being a father has really made me cling to God, learn how to be fathered by Him, and in turn trust that He will help me raise girls
who know they are loved by their earthly father as well as their Heavenly Father.

Following Jesus has not always been easy, but as I’ve trusted him and submitted my
heart to the process of becoming more like Him, I’m finding my true identity in Him. I’m
discovering the depth of His love. I’m experiencing the freedom and healing that’s
found in Him.

Revivalist Leonard Ravenhill once said, “The greatest miracle that God can do today is
to take an unholy man out of an unholy world and make him holy, then put him back into
that unholy world and keep him holy in it.”

I’m thankful Jesus found me.

Matt and his beautiful family

Thank you so much, Matt! 

I'd Like You to Meet...Angela Meijer

 I'm so pleased to introduce to you one of the most creative people I know. She is a beautiful wife, mother and friend. Angela helped me to get my blog started about a year and a a half ago.  I wanted to do one so much, but had no idea how! She was at my house one day and said, "I can help you." Those were the most beautiful words to my ears. She has been a constant source of encouragement and information since Day One.

I was at Angela's home last month during the holiday season. Her home was magical. Her creative touches were everywhere! Creativity is simply part of her identity. She doesn't even have to try - it just flows out of her.

Angela is also a talented artist and photographer. God uses her so beautifully through her artistic talents.

I'm so very happy for you to meet...Angela Meijer.

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The Power of Our Words

Top Left:  Angela in her element

                                                                               Top Right: Angela and her beautiful family

I am a daughter, friend, wife, mother, artist, and a woman with a high value for words.  Words create.  Words have the power to create life or death.  We have all experienced kind words, and we have all experienced hurtful words.  

This morning, I’m thinking about self talk.  My self talk has been loud this morning (wow!!!).   I’m in the process of changing my mind on something important to me.  When I’m not sure what to think about the things that matter, I often feel unsettled.  I like to be “in the know” and, when what I know is challenged, I feel vulnerable.  I’m telling myself this week, that I’m thankful for vulnerability, and am trying to be kind to myself in the process.

Last week, I taught in my daughter’s Sunday school class.  We talked about preparing our hearts to meet with God.  We addressed the question, what do we do when there is " ick" in our hearts that keeps us from connecting with God?  We talked about King David and how he asked God to create a new heart in him.  I asked the kids, “Is God (the ultimate Creator) able to give you a new heart?  They all confidently yelled, “Yes!”  So, I continued, “Let’s give God our " ick, "and ask Him to create a new heart in us.”  I decided I would go first.  I found myself writing “trust issues” on my paper, and then (as an act of giving it to God), I put my paper through the paper shredder.  Every child wrote down what they were giving to God and put it through the paper shredder.  When the shredders were finally quiet, we asked God to give us something new in the place of what was now gone.  We asked God to bring to our minds what He was giving us, and wrote those things down to remember.  The thought that came to my mind was vulnerability.  Well... vulnerability is kind of key to connecting with the “all seeing” God.

I am asked in the scriptures to love God and love others as I love myself.  I want to get better at loving myself.  My self talk creates in me, and because I’m a painter, it shows up in vivid colors in all that I create.  I often think about how to make my home a peaceful and nurturing environment.  If I magnify whatever I focus on, then my self talk shapes my environment more than any decor ever could.  Today,  I choose to have every thought go through this filter before it’s allowed to find a home:

God loves me and He likes me.  His thoughts for me are great and more numerous than the stars in the sky.  I couldn’t fathom this if I tried.  My agreement with Him makes vulnerability possible and enables me to see the beauty of process.

I love this quote by Brene Brown - “Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.”

This week, I got to speak in my daughter Emma’s Sunday school class again.  Our prayer  focus was, “Lord, help me to see You, myself and others like You do.  Amen.”  We practiced this by asking God for kind words to encourage each other with and we wrote those words down. Kathy’s son Evan is great at photography.  He took portraits of each of the kids as a keepsake.  Here is the portrait of my daughter Emma.

When class was over, Emma wanted to talk to me.   She was upset.  Her outfit was black, and one of the girls in class had told her she looked "gothic".  Emma assured me that it wasn't meant as a compliment.  She had just been affirmed and encouraged by her peers, but "gothic" was the resounding word.  I told Emma that she could choose which words to keep, and which words to throw out the window.  We laughed, as Emma pretended to throw the word "gothic" out the window.  With the air cleared, Emma started telling me about how much fun she had in her group.

This reminds me of one of my favorite scripture verses.   

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." - Philippians 4:8

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Thank you so much, Angela! I love your thoughtful way of writing and how to put into practice the power of our words to change the atmosphere around us. You are awesome!



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I'd Like You To Meet...Tara. An Adoption Story

Guest Post #2


I love reading a good guest post on other blogs. This one is no exception. Tara and her husband Jon, have worked with us at the church for over ten years. Tara can be explained in one word - SPARKLE. She has a sparkling personality that lights up a room. But she went through a hard time a couple of years ago when, out of the blue, they were faced with the decision of adopting a little girl. Tara shares in a very honest and gut wrenching way, the feelings she had about this process and how God was able to give her a new perspective. It is a beautiful story and told best in her own words.

And so, I'd like you to meet...Tara.

Tara and Jon Downs

About 4 years ago, I happened to be at work and thinking how awesome my life was.  My husband and I had been married for 21 yrs.  Little did I know that one simple phone call was about to CHANGE OUR LIVES forever.

One morning,  I was listening to my voicemail. It was someone from our church asking if we would consider adopting a six year old little girl.   I then proceeded to casually erase it and texted my husband to give him the heads up.  I was thinking, "NO, life is good.  I've been singing praises about how good my life is right now."  I was swollen with pride and happiness. But Jonathan's reply? It was...YES.

I tried every excuse in the book ... there is no room... it's a girl- we have boys!  We stopped at four children for a reason.  Our savings is for ITALY for our upcoming 25th wedding anniversary... a bigger car... all this will cost money..."NO!! I'M DONE!"  Jonathan's reply...YES.

Later the following week, we met with all the powers that be in starting this process.  I struggled even up to the adoption day itself...."Please God, is there a loophole to get me out of this? I'm screaming inside...I feel like I am drowning...can anyone hear me? I want out of this, God...find someone else. I never asked for this."

I was so numb by my own struggles that I could not even hear the struggles of a 6 year old girl trying to fit into a house full of boys.  I went to any class that would help me understand her world.  She was experiencing unsettling thoughts that no 6 year old should. She was constantly worried about her next meal. Because of the background that she had come out of, it was important to her to know that there would be a next meal. But I was also dealing with her lying, stealing, hoarding,  anger issues,  hitting, and even damaging our home. I was struggling with her ADHD.  She and I butted heads by the hour.  My husband and I fought more. My boys were constantly angry.  I was always sleeping with one eye open. I would jump at every movement she made and spent my time blaming my husband and his YES reply.

My home was in chaos and my identity as a "great" mom was shot all to heck.  Furthermore, I couldn't stand to be in the same room as my husband.

Ironically, my closest friend happened to be adopting her niece the exact same time as our adoption.  I thought, " I'll talk to her about my struggles."  But rather than helping, we ended up with a double drowning. We fueled each other's fire of frustration which caused us to both sink and dislike our situation even more. We both sincerely wanted to do the right thing - but it was hard.

I kept asking myself, " WHY am I refusing this gift from GOD? " I was kicking it away and yelling for him to take it back,  "LORD, what were you thinking?"

I felt like I had to try and talk to others about what I was going through. But that seemed to only backfire. I felt that I was condemned, judged, and told it was my fault. How could I not embrace this little girl? Seriously, I so wanted to hit a few people.  Everyone was so masked by the word adoption. In the movies,  every ending ends with tears of joy while running through a field of daisies.   BUT, not in this house.  We were all licking sandpaper and slowly forgetting what happiness meant. I secluded myself from friends, family, church... the whole world.  Putting on make-up was not an option anymore and sweats were where it was at.  I was exhausted.


My friend, who I mentioned earlier, has a son who needs just a bit of extra love and attention.  I adore hanging out with him. Through some special services he retains, I was able to sign up and take him on outings.  With these services, I had to take training classes myself every month.  I was eager to go, not just for him, but for this new addition to our family and for my own sanity.

During one night of training, the teacher was talking about the parents with special needs children. They would be encountering struggles and heartache for many years to come.  She gave us a story to read which I will share below.   I sat at my table after hearing this story and began to cry. All I could do was cry.  I  kept crying until class ended. Then I cried during the 25 min drive home. I wasn't even sure why I was crying.

My senior Pastor began asking how I was doing. I would just smile and say, "Fine."  My husband and I are leaders in our church and meet periodically with him.  Then the time came for a meeting with Pastor Dave. I finally explained what I had been feeling while he listened. After listening, he simply said, "You are in mourning, and guess what?  It's okay!"  He hit the nail right on the head.   I cried as much as I did that night of the training.

 He had told me about some of their struggles and his own mourning which he had faced in his life with their special needs daughter.  He told me, "You are not going crazy.  You are normal. This mourning  will come in phases. Be prepared - it may cycle again."  That was it! My whole family was mourning a life we had been living.  SHE was mourning a life that was taken away. Whoosh!! Then I knew. We can get past this. For the first time that day, I hugged that little girl so tight. She had to tell me to let go!


Are we singing happy endings?? Not 100%, but I'm just excited that now I have a desire to work for that little girl who God so purposely placed in my arms. And when I have my bad days, which I do, I pull out this short story, read it, and then cry a happier cry.


WELCOME TO HOLLAND by Emily Perl Kingsley
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability-to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine what it would feel. It's like this--
When you are going to have a baby, it is like planning a fabulous vacation trip --to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum, Michelangelo's David, the gondolas in Venice. You may even learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" You say.  " What do you mean, Holland??  I signed up for Italy. I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. Its just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
Its just a different place. Its slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy, but after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around...and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills...and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy...and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "YES, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.
But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things...about Holland.
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I love the honesty with which Tara shares her story. I love her, her sparkle, and the way she walks out her faith, don't you? Thank you so much, Tara. I know you will touch every person that reads your story.


I also plan to ask every lady that does a guest post to share their favorite beauty product. What is Tara's?
*Beauti-Control Powder Foundation


This is the Tara we all know and love. Who knows what she is doing while everyone else is looking at the camera?

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I'd Like You to Meet...Jennifer

Guest Post #1


 I'm so excited to be doing my very first series! I was thinking recently about all the amazing women I am fortunate to know. As it says on my bio, I am a pastor's wife and because of that, I have had this wonderful opportunity of meeting so many interesting women. I'd like you to meet them, too.

The very first lady I'd like to introduce to you is Jennifer. She attends our church, Heartland Assembly, where she has been the women's director on two different occasions. She is currently the Director of Medical Services of Informed Choices - a crisis pregnancy center.

She has also been a guest on the radio program, Focus on the Family, and has spoken at many regional events in our area and across the country.

I'd like you to meet.....Jennifer.

                                    

Jennifer Ridgeway

I feel very honored to be a guest writer for Kathy’s blog, as I am a fan and read it regularly.  I am blessed by the way she expresses the grace of God in such relatable, yet profound ways as she writes.

Like Kathy, my life has had many twists and turns and ups and downs.  I remember imagining what my life would be like when I was growing up.  I’m sure all of us do this as children and teenagers.  Do you remember how you thought life would turn out?  I tend to be a positive, at times idealistic person, and  never imagined some of the battles that I would face as an adult.  I never imagined that I would find myself in a marriage ravaged by a spouse’s addiction, I never imagined that this addiction would lead to multiple marital separations  and ultimately divorce.  I never imagined that I would watch my children go through the pain of watching their family split apart or that I would be a single mom. 

In the midst of trials and struggles, one of the amazing gifts God has graced me with is my children.  I have two beautiful girls, Jocelyn, age 10, and Makenna , age 14.  I am so thankful that they are being raised in a spiritual environment that teaches them how to hear from God and that they, as believers,  have the same Holy Spirit that the adults in their lives do.

My daughter, Jocelyn, has always been very intuitive/prophetic.  In her childlike manner, she has consistently given me some of the most encouraging words I’ve ever received.

I remember one day, when she was very young, we were taking a road trip, and I had really been hurting.  Our family was struggling financially and I was exhausted from working the night shifts at the hospital.  My marriage was beginning to crumble, and I was losing hope that any of the promises I had received from the Lord would ever be fulfilled. 

Jocelyn, sitting in her car seat, was busily drawing.  She suddenly handed me this picture with bright eyes and a smile and said, “Look mama…you’re stuck in a mountain, but Jesus made you stairs.”

I looked at the picture and tears filled my eyes.  I felt like the little figure in the picture….stuck and surrounded by obstacles too big for me to move out of the way.  This picture was a reminder that I didn’t have to move the obstacles myself, and that I was not alone…….Jesus  made me stairs.  He had provided a way to move beyond the things that seemed to bind me and wanted to rob me of hope.  My trust needed to be..not in what I saw, or where I found myself, but in Who He was for me right in that place.  Just like Peter, as he walked on the water toward Jesus, I could continue to move forward over what seemed like impossible circumstances if I kept my eyes fixed on Him and the path He was leading me on. 

God is so good. I find the stairs He has made for me when I walk in intimacy with Him and place my trust only in Him.  I  must agree to let Him light the path I am to take and not allow sin or shame to hinder me in this journey with Him.

 What do some of these stairs look like?  As I have walked on the stairs He has made for me, He has lead me through the steps of forgiveness, healing and deliverance.  These steps are not always comfortable to walk on, but a necessary part of the journey.  He is now taking me up the staircase of knowing my identity in Him, that I am seated in heavenly places with Christ and have authority to release His kingdom in the earth.  He is showing me  that I don’t only overcome the mountains I feel stuck in, but in Christ, I can conquer them.  As I  walk on the stairs Jesus has made for me, I  actually become thankful for the mountains and obstacles I have faced because God has used them to strengthen me, equip me, and  show me Who He really is in my life.

My girls and I have been very blessed and God is restoring so much in our lives right now.  I am thankful that He is a redeemer and is in the full time business of creating beauty from ashes.  I’ll leave you with a recent favorite picture that Jocelyn made for me.  It says it all. 

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Thank you, Jennifer. I love the way you share your heart! It is so beautiful  how your daughter has ministered to you. I have heard Jennifer speak and I know how God has used her to minister hope and healing to other women.

I thought it would be fun to ask each lady for her favorite beauty product or tip. I'm just like that. I enjoy learning about what other ladies like to use.

(Jennifer's favorite beauty product? Trader Joe's Coconut Body Butter)

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