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Tuesday, November 19, 2013

When Peace Seems Unattainable

We just returned from Disney World for our littlest boy's Make a Wish trip. We had a great time with six days packed full of seeing all the sights there. Our son has a rare, genetic condition called homocystinurea which basically means that his body cannot break down protein. The inability to metabolize protein can result in brain damage and a host of other problems. You probably would not know by looking at him that he has any health issues. But it is a serious condition that we treat by medications and lots of prayer. He is very smart and keeps us laughing. He loves the NY Giants and Eli Manning, Star Wars, his X-box, and basketball. He really is the sunshine of our home. We call him our little surprise as I became pregnant with him at the age of 42! I thank God every single day that we have him.

It's not to say that things have been easy. Fear sometimes grips my heart. I will wake up from a deep sleep, stare at the ceiling, and pray over him. A short time back, his specialist sent me a letter to keep with me in the event that our son ever had to be hospitalized . The instructions for the emergency room staff caused me to put the paper down and walk away. It was just too much to take in. I had to wait awhile before I was ready to read it. I do keep it with me whenever we go anywhere. Sometimes I take it out and hold it in my hand and ask God that it never have to be used. Fear seems to delight in coming to us at night, doesn't it? I feel I can keep fear at bay during the daylight hours.

One night I woke up feeling so troubled. I tossed and turned in such deep distress. I suddenly sensed in my spirit a presence in the room. I didn't see anything at all, but inside I knew there was a very large angel standing against the wall near my bed. I don't know if you believe in things like that. I admit that it probably sounds very strange. But I think sometimes God shows us things to comfort us. During those dark early morning hours, I was not a person of great faith.  But God in His infinite tenderness towards me, showed me He was on watch over me. I tried to describe this event the next day to my husband. I had the distinct impression that this was a very large being of massive height and build. I sensed he was sent there ONLY to stand guard over me. That was his purpose.  As I lay there quietly, I fell back to sleep and didn't wake up again until morning. (He will give His angels charge over you...Psalm 91:11)

The funny thing is, I've asked God before to let me see an angel. But at those times when I cannot sleep and I go downstairs at 3 am, I change my mind and say, "That's okay, God. I'll just pass on that." I'm not sure I'm really ready to see one when it is dark and I'm all alone.

I've had similar experiences to this at different times in my life. It is has always been very unexpected. I see myself as someone very low on the totem pole as far as being a person of great faith. I'm always more surprised than anyone that God shows me things. I think it takes me by surprise even more that God seems to direct my attention to how He feels about me. His kindness towards me astounds me.

If you are going through a hard time today, you aren't alone. He is there with you, watching over you at night, and watching you during the day. I think if we really knew His heart of love and concern towards us, we would be amazed.

When we were flying home, I looked out the window at the beauty of the sky and the clouds tinged with shades of pink and gold. I thought how God spoke all of these things into existence. And yet, His heart and attention are turned towards me and they are turned towards you. He is so great but He isn't beyond our reach. He is touched by the feelings of our infirmities - our frailties and our weakness.

Father, I bless whoever may be reading this. I ask that You reveal your great love towards them and give them peace. Give them peace that passes their natural understanding. In Jesus' name - Amen.

Have a wonderful week!

Linking to;  savvysouthernstyle.net   impartinggrace.com



18 comments:

  1. You are amazing! Your tender heart and love for God and your family is a true testament of a Proverbs 31 woman...

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    1. Thanks, Marti! I appreciate your kind words.

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    2. You write so beautifully! As you allow us to see the heart of Jesus through you! Thank you for keeping real!

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  2. YOU astound ME!
    Sandy Mayhan

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  3. Such a poignant post from a beautiful spirit ~ thank you! I know all these things about God and His love for us as well as His constant presence. I so wish I knew His plan in taking my granddaughter so early, along with another teen. I'm having a very difficult time and the holidays are something I dread.

    Sorry to be Debbie Downer but I did want to thank you for sharing your heart!

    xo
    Pat

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    1. Hi Pat! First of all, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I appreciate your kindness in replying. I bless you with the peace that only God can give. I will be thinking and praying for you!

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    2. I love your real ness your
      Words always speak to my heart love Gloria

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  4. First time visitor, found you through Imparting Grace. Such a beautiful post today. God bless your sweet heart and your lovely family. I most certainly DO believe in "things like that". :) I don't get caught up in the "angel thing" like people did a few years ago where the angels can become an idol more than our wonderful Lord but the Bible is very clear that they are VERY REAL! They have several purposes and one of them is to protect us, another is to fight for us!! So it would not be unusual for that angel to be standing guard over you.

    Praying for you today friend, for protection, peace, strength and wisdom. God is with you!! ♥

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    1. Hi Nannette! Thanks so much for your sweet note. I really appreciate it!

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  5. This is really encouraging! Thank you for sharing Kathy!

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    1. Hi Claudia! Thanks so much for your note. Blessings!

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  6. So beautiful and yes, many of us have felt the same way. I cannot even imagine where you are in your life right now but I will pray for you and yours daily. I feel so close to you. The way you opened your heart is amazing. God bless.

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  7. You are an amazing woman, Kathy. Absolutely amazing. Sometimes I wonder if I should keep hosting my Grace at Home party. Then I remember that I might never have met you if not for this party! Love you, sweet lady!

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    1. Richella, I'm so glad that I have met you, too! Thank you so much and love you, too!!

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