Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Everyone Needs a Father

Image result for the intern movie

I've often heard the term "Spiritual Father" ( meaning a mentoring type, older godly man who will be a father figure to you ) and have been quite frankly, turned off. I would hear this term and think, "Why would you need that?"  But recently, I began thinking more about it.

I had a father, of course, but my dad passed away in 2011. 

Maybe you had a father, but not a dad. Maybe your father left your family and he was never a central figure in your life. Maybe your father was present in the home,  yet you never really knew him. If this is your experience at all, then a spiritual father (or if that term rubs you the wrong way like it did to me, then substitute with father-like figure) could be an immense support to you.

At times, I've felt faced with insurmountable problems and have really wished I had a dad to bounce things off of. A husband is great, but there is something about a father.

My husband talks with his dad daily. I often wish I could pick up the phone and just ask a dad a question on what I should do about any given circumstance.

I recently watched the movie, The Intern, starring Robert De Niro and Anne Hathaway. I really loved it. The main reason was that I loved the father figure played by Robert De Niro. After seeing it about five different times, I told the Lord, "Okay, I wasn't interested in a father in my life, but now, just possibly, I could see myself with one. Could I order one exactly like Robert De Niro or, if he isn't too busy, could I just have Robert De Niro?" Yeah,I know that he was simply playing a part. But seriously, if there was such a thing as designing and placing an order for a man to be like a father to me ...he'd be it.

If you haven't seen the movie, here is a brief synopsis.

Ben Whitaker (Robert De Niro's character) is a 70 year old, retired widower. He seizes the opportunity to become a senior intern at an online fashion site. At first, his presence is considered humorous at best by his coworkers, but Ben soon becomes popular with his younger co-workers, except for Jules Ostin (Anne Hathaway), the boss and founder of the company. But in spite of her habit of keeping people out of her personal life, Ben's charm, wisdom, and sense of humor gradually helps him develop a special bond of friendship with Jules.

Image result for the intern movie

At first, Jules didn't want an intern at all. But in the midst of personal crisis and the stress of running a company, she and Ben develop a deep bond, becoming best friends. The internship progressed into a father/daughter relationship.

There are a couple of scenes from the movie that illustrate that father/daughter bond. In one part, Ben looks out the window and sees Jules' driver drinking from a paper bag. He goes directly down to the driver and strongly "suggests" he tell Jules that he would not be able to drive her anywhere today. The driver briefly resists, but Ben's face tells him that he means business. He was being her protector.

Another scene I like is where Jules is sharing a deep fear of her heart. I don't want to give anything away, but Ben's response is absolutely priceless.

I've prayed about a father figure, but honestly, I don't know if I've met this man yet. Sometimes, I feel like it's a case of, "There's no room at the inn." Any man that I may already know, could have a daughter already. Having another "daughter" could be an uncomfortable thing for them. I get that (and to be honest, that may be why I haven't asked someone yet).

 And there is always the true statement of, "God is your Father." Yes, that is true. But I don't think God feels threatened in His job description. I think He gets it.

Why would I like a father figure in my life? There are a few reasons.

1. Someone to talk to.
Having a husband to talk to is wonderful, but as I said before, there is something about     having a father to talk things over with. Right now, I feel like I am juggling so many responsibilities. There is home schooling, my son's appointments and health needs, my daughter's health's been a struggle trying to keep it all afloat and at times I wonder if I'm doing a good job at any of it. To hear a dad say to me, "You are doing an awesome job" - that would mean a lot.

2. Someone to listen.
I would love to have someone hear me out and redirect any areas in my thoughts that I might be getting a little off track about. When your thoughts are in your head alone, they can get kind of skewed. I would love to be able to bounce things off someone who was older and wiser than me. Their objectivity would be a God send.

3. Someone to be proud of me. 
Everyone needs a cheerleader. 
That is a little uncomfortable to type, but there it is. No matter how old you are - that approval can help you to keep going.

A few years ago, I was facing a hard time. It felt like I had nowhere to turn. Many times during that period, I wished I had a dad who would be at my door and just be there. No questions asked. He would just be there to listen, to advise, to help, to stand alongside me and walk through that time with me.

A protector, an ally, a friend. That would be an awesome thing.

Maybe in reading these last few lines, you can relate. Maybe there has been a void in your heart for many years in this area.

I have a hunch that many of you reading might be feeling the same way. My heart goes out to you if your dad was distant, unkind, or uncaring. That isn't the way God feels about you. You matter to Him. You aren't a mistake or a bother or a nuisance.

Many of you reading may have a hard time viewing God as a Father because of your earthly father. Maybe you felt you could never please your dad. Perhaps you had a father who was abusive. It can be hard to relate to God as a father when you are faced with memories of a dad who wasn't the man he should have been to you. But God can and is willing to be the dad you have been searching for. I believe that with you.

I like the verse that says God will be a "Father to the fatherless" (Psalm 68:5). Maybe God does send fathers to some, but to others, He wants to be that special Dad. That could be, I guess. Either way, I'm open to what God has in store.

I'll keep you posted!

Much love to you!

*FYI...As much as I loved the movie, there are a couple of scenes that wouldn't be appropriate for children.


  1. Kathy, I never would have watched this movie, except that I had seen you recommend it before. It is a great movie and I can really relate to your wish for someone like Robert DeNiro's character in your life. I felt the same way when I watched it. I'll be looking forward to hearing how God answers this longing for you. Thanks again for sharing!

    1. Hi Kristi!
      For some reason, your comment did not show up until today!
      I'm glad you liked the movie, too. It's one of my favorites:)


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