I used to live in beautiful southern Mississippi in a home built around 1910. It sat on 50 acres and I used to love to walk across those pastures and pour my heart out to God. I was 21 years old.
I didn't call that time a devotional. I still don't like the word devotional. Although I am sure there are hundreds of great devotional books out there, I don't own any.
It was just that time I looked forward to.
I felt like when I opened the gate and stepped into the pasture, Jesus was there waiting for me. I believe He was.
There is still something about being outside that makes me feel close to God.
We visited Colorado a couple of years ago and when I walked around Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs, I caught my breath. There was that same feeling of God being close by. The beauty of His creation lends itself to feeling His nearness. (I think staying indoors too long can be detrimental to our well being.)
Anyway, back to Mississippi. I was attending college at that time and looking forward to finishing and going off to Bible school. That was where my heart was. I had some very sure promises from God that I was waiting to see fulfilled.
But I had to set those things aside for the time being while I finished my degree. I still had hope in my heart for the dreams that I had, but it was time to get down to the business of finishing what was before me.
I would often walk and talk with the Lord. Sometimes I would cry as I tried to convey all that was on my heart. I can't always say that I heard God speak to me. But I felt His nearness and I felt His interest in my life.
Soon I finished my degree and did get to go to Bible school. The promises God gave me did come true. But it wasn't instantaneous. It was a process.
I met my husband there and after we were to be married, we would be moving to Iowa. On the last time that I walked that pasture behind my parent's home, I did hear the Lord speak to me. He said, "I'll miss these times with you." I have never forgotten those words.
Now all these years later, I am waiting for promises to come to pass. I am staying busy with the business at hand, but my heart yearns to see what I only see by faith right now.
I still feel Him beside me. He has been a faithful friend. There are a lot of things that I don't understand. Sometimes the waiting seems like it will go on forever. Maybe I won't see the end that I am hoping for.Will I see my daughter healed? I don't know. Will I see our son healed? I just have no way of knowing. But I continue to hope. He is very kind. He has seen all my tears and my fears. He understands as He reaches out to take my hand and walk with me through the unknown.
I always tell Him that on the day I see Him face to face, I want to know Him and I want Him to know me. It is through these hard experiences that we truly come to know God.
Romans 5:5 says this:
And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
I don't know how to end except to say that I want to continue to choose to trust God.
Linking up to: impartinggrace.com